What is Our Mission in Life and Why are We so Afraid to Fulfill it?
Many of us struggle in finding what our calling is. Then, even after knowing it, we still have issues taking action and actually fulfilling it. Why does this happen to us and what can we do about it? I wanted to share some ideas and thoughts I've collected over the past months while struggling with this myself.
Rule # 1- Your mission has to involve doing for others.
While going to the gym, reading, learning languages and attending personal development courses are important for you as an individual, they are not your calling. Your calling has to involve your influence on others. These activities are needed to help you “sharpen the saw” (Stephen Covey’s 7th habit of highly effective people) and thus improve your ability to fulfill your mission, but they are not and cannot be your purpose.
Rule # 2 — You’ll know when it feels right
How will I know If i’m fulfilling my mission?
Oprah- “You know you’re doing the right thing if it feels right, it give you the juice and you would do it for nothing.. Your heart can’t lie”
She tells how exhausted, drained and depleted she felt all the time while working in news anchoring. You know how you’re feeling.
Reaching it,does not mean every day is perfect and with no hardships and challenges, but it fits you. You get enough “juice” from it to help you get through.
“Find a job you enjoy doing, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” ~Mark Twain
What happens if I don’t fulfill my mission in life? Is that possible?
Yes, it’s possible that you will let life go by where at the end you feel you could’ve and should’ve done more, and you might be right. God brought you to this world, into your specific family with these circumstances because there is something for you to accomplish in this world. In other words, you were called to be god’s partner in making the world a better place. You have the choice to take part in his mission for you (and the world) or you can stand aside. We learn a lot from the following story of Queen Esther in the bible:
Queen Esther is reluctant to take action to try and save the Jewish nation who are facing annihilation in the following year.
Her uncle Mordechai warns her:
“For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” (Esther 4:13–14)
Ultimately, relief will arise from another place; God’s plan for this world will take place, you have the choice to take part in it.
How do I discover my calling? Answering some of the following questions can help:
- What were things you enjoyed doing as a child?
2. What were things in your more recent past you enjoyed doing?
3. Which book section in a library/book store can you spend the whole day at?
4. What do people compliment you on doing? What are people asking you to help them out with?
5. If money were absolutely no object, what would you be doing?
6. If you could donate money to any cause in the world, which would it be? What problem in the world trouble you? Is it hungry children? Singles? Animals?
7. What painful experiences in the past shaped who you are today? What is something you personally struggled with or are struggling with? What person/technique helped you overcome it?
8. Who do you look at and are Jealous of when it comes to their life’s work? Something that you would like to do?
9. What activities do you do that time just flies you by?
10. What would you do if you had 6 months left?
11. Imagining what a typical desired day looks like, what do you imagine there? Which activities are you doing? Teaching/writing/creating/lecturing?
If we know what it is, What’s holding us back?
- “Who am I” — feeling that we’re not worthy- Our greatest leader of all time, Moshe Rabenu felt this way. God himself approached him and gave him a mission. Moshe’s reaction was “who am I”. I’m not worthy, there are others greater than me who are out there, they can do it better than I can. Moshe also hinted by this to to his older brother Aharon.
You are unique. Maybe there are many other dietitians, students and coaches out there but many people will feel the connection with you, and will like your unique take on the subject. They need you.
- We’re scared of failure —Sometimes it’s easier for us not to try something that might fail. We prefer to stay in our comfort zone and thus saving ourselves the risk of failure and pain.
Theodore Roosevelt was quoted saying “It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.”
- We’re scared of what people will think of us — There are many of societies thoughts in our mind, including those of our parent/friends/teachers. “you need to land a lucrative job”, “what will people think of me if I become a teacher?” , “What will people think if i’m just a mom?” “I should go to the best degree I can get into with my grade scores”.
Maybe we can’t entirely shut down societies thought but at least we can try to minimize it’s effect on us. Focus on your self, what will really give you pleasure and meaning. The more you focus in and connect with yourself the less other’s thought will matter.
- We’re scared for money reasons-”I don’t have the money to pursue my dreams”. Obviously when you are trying to keep food on the table, and barely able to pay your rent/mortgage you feel blocked in fulfilling your mission, or maybe you don’t even have time to think about purpose. According to Maslow’s hierarchy the lower needs of safety and physiological come before “self-actualization”.
With less money it may take us more time (to save what we need), but it can also help us refine better what we want, and make us more resourceful in our pursuits.
“Love attracts money… You can find a way to make it pay. You can find a way that serves the world, serves your customers, and serves your soul.” ~Martha Beck
How does our work/career correlate to this mission?
Our daily “work” can be viewed by us in 3 ways-
1) A means of making money? (Job)
2) Stimulates you on a daily basis? (Career)
3) Defines you and the impact you want to have on the world? (Calling)
According to Oprah Winfrey— “your real job in life is to figure out what you are called to do. And you use a job until you figure out what your true calling is.”
The Japanese call it Ikigai, “what is worth living for”. An interesting model using the Ikigai theory tries to help you find a job you’ll love. This can be done by finding the point of intersection between what you love, are good at and what the world needs and will pay you for.
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is more people who have come alive.” Howard Thurman
Of-course a person can fulfill their calling outside of work and doesn't have to be a famous world leader or a big executive millionaire in order to fulfill it. Being a parent, community leader, raising a family can all be part of this. Also it can be multidimensional, and involve different aspects of one’s life.
Give value to what is already in our lives
Sometimes you are already expressing you life purpose, only you don’t realize it. In that case we need a thought changer, an eye opener to help us give value to what we are doing and what we have in our lives. Only you can tell if this is the case or not. A good example of this shift in our thought is the famous bricklayer parable:
The Parable of the three bricklayers — Three bricklayers all completing the same job are asked the question “What are you doing”.
The first one replied, “I’m a bricklayer. I’m working hard to feed my family.”
The second bricklayer, responded, “I’m building a wall.”
The third brick layer answered “I’m a cathedral builder. I’m building a great cathedral for The Almighty.”
Ok, so what do I do next?
Start Small — This doesn’t mean you just quit your 9–5 job tomorrow or make any drastic steps. Start with small steps. Answer the questions above, try breaking free of others thoughts and expectations and try out different things. Lean in on your life purpose.
Allow your purpose to evolve when your situation changes. A mom of small children might want to cool off other commitments and be with her family at the time being. Someone who is undergoing divorce or any other major change might also need some pausing time. Our thoughts and feelings also change as we get older and that’s why it is an ongoing process. Accept that.
Sometimes it’s about the right timing- As you start leaning in you will see the right timing, and proper conditions start coming into place as well.
Basically continue to be in touch with your life purpose, which really means being in touch with your own essence and soul. Trust that the dots will connect.
[Resources- Lior Frenkel + Yehudit Katz podcast (hosvim tov) , “the world cant exist without you”- Moshe Sharon, Oprah Winfrey, Martha beck]
